This topic is something I've had to consider a lot over the past year and it's something I still struggle with daily. So I thought I'd do the word vomit thing and just type and see where I end up. Lauren's guide to writing blog posts.
I've always considered myself a really selfish person so whenever it comes to making decisions I always think about what other people want and what's best for them. I find it really difficult to take everyone else out of the equation and only think about myself - because that's not really my instinct. It wasn't until I went through a really rough patch last year and my mum told me I need to start putting myself first and thinking about what I want that I realised maybe I'm not as selfish as I thought. Plus mums are always right so that's got to count for something.
An example of this for me is university. I had always assumed I would finish high school and go to uni - because that's what it seemed like everyone was doing and that's just what was done. I'm not sure about anywhere else but at my school, we were only told about university or college; if you didn't go you're rubbish and there are no other options. So when I realised I didn't actually want to go, it caused a LOT of stress. Even more so because I didn't tell anyone, I just let it fester and get worse.
My advice to anyone else is don't do this - tell your mum or your dad or a teacher or anyone. You don't have to go to uni to get a degree, I've just joined an apprenticeship programme which will result in a degree. If you're not excited about going, it's not for you; I thought I'd be more excited when I actually went but the anxiety got worse the closer it got to September. Don't go just to please anyone else or because it's what you think you have to do. Think about what you actually want! Maria from mariajblogs wrote a post about her uni experience which you can find HERE - it's extremely useful for those of you who have gone to uni and then have realised it's not for you.
It's really hard to find the line between being selfish and putting yourself first. In my relationship, I'm always the one to decide where we go for dinner or what we do on our days off, which I consider to be quite selfish and I'm trying to change that. But the decision to take myself away for a few hours because I'm feeling really down is me putting myself first - it's never very much fun for anyone when I feel rubbish so the best choice is to be alone. It might be hard but if your relationship is making you more miserable than happy, it might be a good idea to take some time alone; your happiness is important.
These are just a few tips and experiences I've had over the past year or so - 2016 was difficult but it was a really important year in terms of what I learnt about myself. I hope you enjoyed this post and it made you think a little about the big decisions you make.
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